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patient's view
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     1 Chair of Nephrology, Department of Internal Medicine, University of Turin, Corso Dogliotti, 14-10126 Turin, Italy

    Correspondence to: G B Piccoli gbpiccoli@hotmail.com

    My nickname is Tommy. At the time of the story I was 35 years old.1 I have been diabetic almost all my life, and this has had a big effect on me. I have wanted a baby since the day of my marriage, or even before that. Someone asked me if I wanted a baby to feel more "normal." That is not the reason. I wanted a baby because it is a fundamental part of life and because I needed a child. I wanted it. When you deeply want something you have no particular reasons for doing it; you just want it day and night.

    Over the past few years, I have spent money and time trying to have a baby. Most of the doctors I met said that it was too risky and that I shouldn't even think about it. I therefore changed doctors several times, trying to find one who would say "yes," until I found Giorgina and her father. They finally understood my opinions. They are special people.

    I don't know, but maybe it's also because Giorgina has two children (and when I first met her, her first child was a baby). None of the previous doctors, for example, was able to answer this question: "What does high risk, or too risky mean?"

    I knew that I would be risking my life and the life of the baby, but I also knew that I could make it. I was sure of that, and you have to follow your feelings. Even if the risk was as high as 70%, I wanted to try.

    I understood why the doctors explained all the risks, but my wish was much stronger than they could understand. I think that the doctors should have supported my decision instead of trying to make me change my mind, sometimes too forcefully. Now my child is 2 years old. I call him many things: topolino, ciplollino (little mouse, little onion); he is very sweet. The first time I saw him I thought: "It's impossible it's my child. He's too beautiful." And the nurses laughed and said: "No, of course he's yours." He was small and was in the emergency room.

    The first time I touched him, he had a tachycardic crisis. The doctor said that he probably needed a surgical intervention for his heart; the surgeon came over, and he talked to me. After 24 hours' observation, they told me that it was only the contact with my hands that had excited him. That day I thought I was dying, and I thought, "God, take me, not him." He was well by the late evening.

    Last week I went on the waiting list for a pancreas-kidney transplant. I'm scared, even though I know it's the best thing to do. I'm scared for my child, and I hope that this time too everything will be all right. I've been happy to let Giorgina tell my story, because I hope it will be useful for somebody else, perhaps someone who has diabetes and wants a baby.

    Competing interests: Giorgina Piccoli is Tommy's doctor and is godmother to Tommy's son. Both of them are very happy.

    References

    Piccoli GB, Mezza E, Grassi G, Burdese M, Todros T. A 35 year old woman with diabetic nephropathy who wants a baby: case outcome. BMJ 2004;329: 900.(Maria Tomasa, Giorgina Ba)